I must be honest, things have changed around the apartment since getting back from Copenhagen. I wish I could say that Stephen hasn’t let success go to his head and is the same old lovable guy - but this simply isn’t the case.
The change wasn’t instant. It started slowly. I think I noticed it first when he started answering his phone “World Barista Champion, Stephen Morrissey….”, even when he knew it was me or his mother calling. Then, gradually, he started saying things like “You know… Before I was World Barista Champion, I used to think (such and such)….” Actually, come to think of it, I got back from Copenhagen before Stephen, but when he walked in the door he threw me a pound coin and said “My bags are downstairs. Go fetch them, yeah?” Just little things, you know, but how things have spiraled from there.
Just the other day, a FedEx guy arrived with a huge box from the Wedgwood factory. Stephen has had all his own monogrammed porcelain plates and bowls made, as well as solid silver monogrammed cutlery to go with them. He reiterates that they are to be used ‘by current World Champions only‘. He’s asked me to only use paper plates from now, because the sound of other people using cutlery on real plates annoys him.
I was OK with things up until this point. Fair enough, I figured, he deserves it, he’s worked hard. But recently, a real mean diva-like streak has started to show. Like Naomi Campbell…. with a beard. Last night, walking back from the supermarket, Stephen insisted that I (carrying the shopping) walk exactly 12 paces ahead of him, “just in case”, he kept saying…. “just in case”. In case, what? I had no idea. He asked me not to speak to him in public, if I wasn’t prepared to use his ‘title’.
Over the last week, he’s introduced a new policy, where no-one is allowed to make direct eye-contact before 2pm, which is a little futile, as he now wears sunglasses in the house constantly, anyway. He tells me this is a temporary measure, anyway, as he’s having a partition built in the loungeroom, to section off what he calls a “Champion’s Lounge”. Guess who’s not allowed to sit in it? Guess which section of the loungeroom has the TV in it?
I know that for people who know Stephen, this may seem preposterous. He’s an easy going, fun-loving, laid back and super-friendly guy, right? Sure… In the past! Just this morning, I made Stephen a mug of tea, but forgot to set the cup with the handle at a right angle from the edge of the table. I knew I’d done something wrong when Stephen smacked the cup off the table and into my lap, then stormed off into his room. He hasn’t come out yet, and it’s noon. All I can hear is soft, continuous muttering. “Klaus never had to put up with this shit.” Over, and over. The nurse at the hospital says the burns will heal, but I should think about pressing charges.
I asked James if he could have a word with him, you know, as someone who’d been there, but apparently Stephen isn’t taking James’ calls anymore. When I asked him about this, he told me that it just isn’t right - associating with ‘ex-champions’. “That was fine and all, in my pre-champion days (a term he uses a lot now), but it’s time to move on.”
I just thought that people should know what the WBCs in Copenhagen has spawned. I’m sure that everyone that knows Stephen wants to see the old guy back. The laughing Irishman with time for everyone. I would arrange an intervention at the apartment, but it looks as if the locks have been changed, and my stuff is all out here on the front step.






